4 Simple Ways To Create More Meaningful Relationships
1. Smile More
The way we treat other is often times overlooked. We don’t give it the time of day even if we know, deep down, that is changes how people perceive you.
Treating people as you treat yourself (as the bible says) may not be a smart choice though. We often indulge in self depreciating activities like comparing ourselves to other on Instagram or overworking at our desk jobs. Why would you do that to your friends if you wanted to create a more meaningful relationship with them?
Smile More
We all have bad days. Today, for example, I barely slept and still had to go to work. All I wanted was to do once I got to the office was to tell everyone to fuck off but instead I decided to smile, say “Good Morning” and I joked about a coworker coming back from her vacations. I was miserable. My head hurt and my eyes were still blurry as if I hadn’t yet fully woken up.
Sometimes that’s just the face you have to put on so you don’t create a bad environment with others and have them like you more. Nobody would start a conversation if I had gotten there, said “ mornin’ ” and sat down miserably (as I wanted to do). I got through today, built a better relationship with my coworkers and now I can sleep all I want.
Sometimes we are so focused on a specific task that we forget that smiling is contagious. People respond better if you smile at them even if they are on the phone with you. Seriously, the next time you are on the phone, smile while you’re talk. Don’t overdo it man, come on, don’t be creepy.
That’s why we put smiley faces on our text or say “lol”. It’s so people know we are laughing or at least smiling. Sending a text saying ”You’re such a dumbass” isn’t quite as nice as “You’re such a dumbass lmao”.
I think you get what I’m saying. Right?
Do Not Criticize People
Let’s face it, we don’t like being criticized but we love to give our opinions. I’m giving my opinion literally right now by writing this. There’s nothing wrong with constructive criticism, it just need to more than a destructive opinion.
We often judge people for doing something that we once did such as lying or even something generic as missing an exit on the highway. But why judge?
“God himself doesn’t dare to judge a man until his days are over, why should I?”
- “How to Win Friends And Influence People” by Dale Carnegie
It’s easy to say “you did this wrong” but it’s much better to ask why they did it the way they did. We aren’t the only humans with a brain, other people can think too and they have their logic behind their actions.
Try understand before you criticize.
Give True Compliments
If you take anything from this read, let it be this: People like to be flattered.
Being complimented makes people lower their guards, which prevents unnecessary fights and open space for meaningful conversations. The only thing you should be aware of is that people see right through your bullshit.
If you think you can just go around giving fake compliments to people, you can’t. I mean, you can, but it will backfire. Give honest compliments, perhaps something about their work life or the way they smile.
I once complimented a friend of mine for staying true to what he believe in. He literally put out the barbecue he made because he felt like I was calling his bluff. After he put it out, he said “My word is my honour” and sat down. I told him I did not like what he did but I was thrilled for being friends with a man who would stay true to his word even if it meant doing something very rude.
You don’t have to appreciate every little detail of a person to compliment them on how eloquent they are or to compliment their hairstyle. You just have to be honest and really mean what you are saying.
Never Lie to Anyone
This is the one I am more bullish on.
Here is how I think about it: I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone that lies to me for no reason, therefore, I will never lie to anyone. When I say “anyone”, I mean “anyone”. I don’t lie to my parents, my boss, my friends or strangers on the street.
I truly believe in be an honest person. That doesn’t mean I will tell you the full story. It just means you won’t hear a word that isn’t true coming out of my mouth. If I see I can’t answer a question without lying, I simply don’t answer the question.
I am responsible for what I say, not for what other understand.
If you decide to spin my conversation, that’s on you, I know I didn’t tell anything that wasn’t true because I wouldn’t want you to do it to me either. You might be thinking “damn, this guy is so deceitful” and to that I tell you: Yes, I am if I need to. I may not tell you the full story if I don’t feel like it, but you can be sure that if you ask me a direct question, I will answer it as truthfully as I can, even if it means hurting your feeling.
If I don’t want you to lie to me, why would I lie to you?
